Case Histories
Case Histories similar to those settled by our lawyers.
The following information are real court cases that were not settled by our lawyers. However the people in these cases are the kind of people our lawyers represent, those who should never win a settlement for a case as stupid as theirs.
Portland Woman Sues McDonalds Over Hot Coffee
A McDonald's drive-thru customer who suffered burns on her thigh from hot coffee she ordered is suing the restaurant, claiming the coffee was too hot and the cup's lid too loose.
An attorney for Aurora Hill filed suit in Multnomah County Circuit Court Wednesday afternoon -- stirring memories of a controversial 1994 suit in which a jury awarded $2.86 million to an Albuquerque, New Mexico woman who spilled scalding-hot coffee on herself, suffering severe burns that required hospitalization. Upon appeal, the parties settled for an undisclosed amount.
In Hill's case, the suit claims that McDonald's coffee is still too hot, or "extremely hot in the extreme," as the suit puts it. Hill was in the drive thru at the McDonald's at Northwest 19th Avenue and Burnside Street last March 15 when she'd ordered a large coffee.
According to the suit, "as it was being handed to her by an employee of the defendant, the plaintiff took the cup of coffee and the plastic top fell off and spilled very hot coffee on plaintiff's upper right leg..."
She went into "nervous shock," endured pain and has scarring. She seeks $7,182 for her pain and suffering, plus another $318 for lost wages and medical expenses.
The suit lists JWM Enterprises, Inc., as the defendant, and describes it as the Oregon corporation doing business as McDonald's. A McDonald's spokeswoman, based in Illinois, could not immediately say how hot restaurants are supposed to keep their coffee.
Teen Featured on "Wife Swap" Sues ABC
A teen pageant queen who famously declared her sympathy for “people that are not gorgeous people” on ABC’s Wife Swap is suing the network, accusing it of staging scenes to "maximize public embarrassment." Alicia Guastaferro, 18, was depicted as allowing her mother to do her homework for her and receiving presents every day under a year-round Christmas tree. Now, she wants $100 million, the New York Daily News reports.
Guastaferro says she has been assaulted and received death threats, and that her humiliation over the 2008 episode forced her to switch schools, turned her from an honor roll student to a special ed student, and caused her to have panic attacks and suicidal tendencies. In the suit, she claims producers demanded she “act a little more spoiled,” and that scenes—including the spray tanning and the Christmas tree—were staged. PopEater notes that the family’s recent legal and financial troubles could have something to do with the pricey lawsuit.
Man Sues Dry Cleaners for Lost Pair of Pants
Roy Pearson claimed the cleaners lost the pants to a $1,000 suit. They claimed they found them later that week, but he disagreed. They then offered him $12,000 compensation, but he demanded the more reasonable figure of $67 million. After two full years of everyone on the planet telling him he was totally insane, he lowered the claim. To $54 million. You might recognize that as 50,000 times the cost of the original item, which he claimed accounted for his inconvenience and mental anguish. The legal fees ($80,000) nearly drove the cleaners back to South Korea until a community effort raised the money to pay the bill. Which means that, holy shit, Roy Pearson is the villain from a Disney movie.
He lost the case, lost his job as an Administrative Law Judge, was divorced by his wife, and faces bankruptcy. Upon realizing he'd become the star of a heavy-handed parable, Peterson apologized to the world and said he'd learned valuable lesson about the evils of materialism and the availability of more pants. Ha, no, not really. He filed for the court to reconsider the decision, and when they refused, he launched a full appeal.
... Even though Pearson lost, our lawyers will still try their best to defend another person in a case like this anyways.
Dartmouth Professor Sues Students for Being Mean
Professor Priya Venkatesan accused students in her French narrative theory class of "anti-intellectualism." For Ivy League students interested in what the French are saying about narrative theory, this is probably on par with accusing Bruce Willis of being unmanly (though with an infinitely lower chance of getting dropped out of a skyscraper for your error).
She hired lawyers to sue members of the class, claiming the way they kept complaining about her inability to teach constituted a "hostile work environment." She also sued her superiors, apparently unaware that even being allowed to call "talking about French narrative theory" a job was already a huge allowance on their part.
She complained that during lectures on expository argument, her students argued with her. So either she's the world's master of irony or doesn't understand what those words mean. Some might say that a lecturer who needs expensive legal professionals to deal with student questions is not a very good lecturer.
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