“ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE,

NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY”

                           by Judith Viorst

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and

when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I

dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it

was going to be a terrible, horrible , no good, very bad day.

At breakfast Anthony found a Corvette Sting Ray car kit in his breakfast

cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover Agent code ring in his breakfast

cereal box, but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal.

I think I’ll move to Australia.

In the car pool Mrs. Gibson let Becky have a seat by the window. Audrey

and Elliott got seats by the window, too. I said I was being scrunched. I said I

was being smushed. I said, if I don’t get a seat by the window, I am going to be

carsick. No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At school Mrs. Dickens liked Paul’s picture of the sailboat better than my

picture of the invisible castle.

At singing time she said I sang too loud. At counting time she said I left out

sixteen. Who needs sixteen? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no

good, very bad day.

I could tell because Paul said I wasn’t his best friend anymore. He said

that Philip Parker was his best friend and Albert Moyo was his next best friend

and that I was only his third best friend.

I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Paul. I hope the next time you get a

double-decker strawberry ice cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone

part and lands in Australia.

There were two cupcakes in Philip Parker’s lunch bag and Albert got a

1. Hershey bar with almonds and Paul’s mother gave him a piece of jelly roll that

had little coconut sprinkles on the top. Guess whose mother forgot to put in

dessert? It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what it was, because after school my mom took us all to the dentist

and Dr. Fields found a cavity just in me. Come back next week and I’ll fix it, said

Dr. Fields.

Next week, I said, I’m going to Australia.

On my way downstairs the elevator door closed on my foot and while we

were waiting for my mom to go get the car Anthony made me fall where it was

muddy and then when I started crying because of the mud Nick said I was a

crybaby and while I was punching Nick for saying crybaby my mom came back

with the car and scolded me for being muddy and fighting.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, vary bad day, I told everybody. No

one even answered.

So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose

white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose

blue ones with red stripes but then the shoe man said, We’re all sold out. They

made me buy plain old white ones but they can’t make me wear them.

When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn’t play with his

copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his

desk, and I was careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don’t fool

around with his phone, but I think I called Australia. My dad said please don’t

pick him up anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There were lima beans for dinner and I hate lima beans.

There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing.

My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the

drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas. I hate my railroad-train

pajamas.

When I went to bed Nick took back the pillow he said I could keep and the

Mickey Mouse nightlight burned out and I bit my tongue.The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not with me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.